Sometimes....

...I just wish I was a guy. Let me explain. I have a bit of a temper, and working with children all summer has not helped matters in the least. Every once in a while I feel the need to release my feelings in a direct statement. I like to be as succinct and evil as possible to get the most possible amount of release as is allowable by the amount of time my type-A personality is willing to waste on being angry. Lately the choice phrase that has been coming to mind in a derivation on one of "The Departed"'s Sergeant Dignam (as played by the hilarious Marky Mark Whalberg). At one point he blows up at Matt Damon's kiss-ass character and tells him "Blow me. Not literally though, unfortunately there's no promotion involved."

You see there has been a couple of situations in my head lately where I have thought to myself, "wow, just saying 'blow me' right now would diffuse this perfectly and leave me in the power postition" However, as a female it is awkward and it leaves those who don't know me too well a little confuzzeled.

The other glaring problem with it is the fact that the phrase is a little neanderthal-ish. As someone who is ordinarily well spoken and makes a large effort to not represent a lot of the more negative Long Island stereotypes, this is something I try to avoid.

The conundrums of being a lady.

Behind every high powered man...(Replacement for 2/13 blog)

College is great for discovering television. Just this semester I have discovered and rediscovered Gilmore Girls, The Return of Jezebel James, Planet Earth, Angel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Tudors, Saturday Night Live, The United States of Tara and Arrested Development. What this does for my academic career I cannot be sure. I know that it makes the culture whore in me very happy. The most recent of these is Entourage, an HBO series based in Los Angeles about four friends and the high powered Hollywood agent who makes them rich. The agent Ari Gold, played by Jeremy Piven, is misogynistic racist and homophobic. Yet his wife in the one with any real power within the family. She is the only one who can manage to put him in his place. Asking any agent to go without their phone is like asking a fish to survive without water, yet she demands his phone from him on Yom Kippur and forbids him from doing business, making him appear to be useless and behaves like a lost little boy at the end of this scene, at a complete loss for how to function.
Though he fibs to his daughter, she asserts her power, showing her exasperation with her father, knowing that his atonement is most likely unacceptable.

Oh You SNL.

I usually like to ramble on for these, but I thought that this clip from Saturday Night Live was just priceless. For me, it exemplified all the true stereotypes about spring break, except the girls in this one didn't randomly shout "Spring Break '09!" Pleaser enjoy the ditzy gender messages abound in this one.

Yes, Charlize Theron is indeed scary.

In my never ending drive to see every film worth merit (and many that truly aren't), I recently rented Monster, the biopic of prostitute/serial killer Aileen Wuornos. A little bit of an obvious reading of gender messages, but never the less an important one. The film is largely sympathetic to Aileen's plight in life, but never to Aileen herself. One finds the reasoning behind her first murder to be completely valid, but the audience loses faith in her when she continues to kill and chooses to handle things badly. 

What I find most ironic about this film is not the film itself, but the buzz created by actress Theron's transformation into this woman. She gained thirty pounds, teased her hair and the make-up people gave her some lovely sun-damaged skin. A South African Goddess became what Marla would refer to as "Infectious Human Waste." For me this was the true source of horror in this film. You would see Aileen in the mirror primping and trying to look her best and all one could wonder was if this was the same women. 

This aspect was referred to in a episode of the forgotten critical darling, Arrested Development. Charlize was playing a jubilant love interest for Jason Bateman's lead. As Rita's (Theron's) uncle is speaking about the amount of surgery she has undergone, he mentions that the situation would be different if they had only met a year earlier. At this point an image of Aileen in Monster appears on the screen. 

As her character is "mentally challenged," does this stereotype such individuals as so? Maybe, but it's really humorous. And a stereotype does not necessitate truth. It is my belief that mildly offensive humor is needed sometimes to keep us from getting to full of ourselves. I'm now of to prolong any studying and read Rant by Chuck Palahniuck.

I Can't Have No Affair Because It's Wrong And I Don't Want Earl To Kill Me Pie...

I'm going to take some time out of my normal ramblings to mourn the loss of Adrienne Shelly and her possible contributions to the film world. Two years ago a film appeared on the indie circuit that garnered a lot of buzz, mostly because of the premature death of its director/writer/actress. This film was Waitress and it's director was Ms. Shelly. Shortly before her murder in her New York apartment, the film was accepted into the Sundance Film Festival where the recent news garnered it buzz and gave people the opportunity to view it differently. As it stands alone, the film is comic and serious, real and unreal all at the same time. Knowing the story behind Adrienne's tragic death only makes it all the more poignant.

The premise of this story is a small town waitress who is pregnant with her husband's child. She wants neither the baby nor the husband. Her marriage is loveless and even though she is a "Pie genius," and her friends are either single or have an invalid husband, they would not rather be her. What I personally find most real about the film is not the affair that she has, nor her talent with pies, but rather the behavior of her husband. In all his comic immaturity, he reminds me greatly of some men I know. Unlike Earl, they are not abusive, but still retain that immaturity that makes you wonder how they can function without a mother figure to tie their shoes. It is clear in this film that is what Jenna (the waitress character) is to him. Earl is insecure at best and controlling at worst. He also deludes himself, taking Jenna's admission that she is leaving him as a joke. It is not necessarily that he is a bad guy. Jenna seems to have just been lying down and taking his abuse for so long that it has become commonplace. Despite his tantrums, he seems very devoted to her, just not nearly as mentally developed. I do not blame Earl, but rather Jenna for not standing up for herself in her own marriage and letting certain behaviors be considered acceptable. Though with the birth of her daughter Lulu, she seems to be very devoted to her, one wonders what she will let her get away with. Is Lulu to become a spoiled brat like Earl?

Dear British Press... Kindly shove it. Love Kate

As an avid proponent of Kate Winslet's talent since my young seven year old self first saw her in Titanic, nothing could have made me happier than her Golden Globe win as Best Supporting Actress in the Reader. Until she won Best Actress an hour later. Her speech was perfect, fawning over Leo and Sam (DiCaprio and Mendes, her husband) respectably. She didn't behave as if she was so surprised and so modest and "But Meryl should have won!" as it would have come from her category-mates. Instead, she knew she deserved it and thanked those who helped her get to that point. She even forgot about Angelina Jolie as she started to list off her fellow nominees (take that waif!). Yet the crowd was all smiles and happy with the display of emotion. This got me super jazzed for the remainder of Oscar season.

Then the next day I found an column in British newspaper, The Independent, entitled "Get a Grip, Kate. You're Embarrassing us." According to Brian Viner, Kate's "irreproachably middle-class upbringing in Reading" should have held herself more upright. Be damned the fact that a Best Acting award is something that she has wanted for a long time. As Mr. Viner acknowledges, her husband had directed the film and it was a return pairing with a good friend that led to it, she should feel a certain sense of pride for it. But "Our (Kate's Countrymen) own pride... was diminished as soon as the first tear plopped onto that lovely cheek." Ok Viner, that is just harsh. What should have she done? Hold her statue coldly in her hand as she lists in a monotone those she would like to thank and how much they contributed to her performance and how much this award belongs to them above her. That would have been more expected of a "sensible girl from Reading."

Does sensibility mean that one should hide excitement and pride when they are being rewarded for their work? I should think not! I know that if I were to be recipient of such a well known award I would need to be carried to the stage, because of a fainting spell. And I would not be one to name my children "Bubblegum Eucalyptus Tree," thank you very much Mr. Viner.

Moral of the story? The stuffy British press may have their sensibility and reservedness. Kate's got two Golden Globes and and Oscar. Kate:3 Brian Viner and those who dislike emotion: 0.

Why Amy Sherman-Palladino

Thanks to the terrible invention of Hulu, I can say goodbye to my complete academic drive. Due to the fact that it supports so many forms of media for a self proclaimed media lover, I have found the ultimate form of distraction for myself. The first took the shape of Fox's recently failed series, "The Reutrn of Jezebel James." This came from Amy Sherman-Palladino, the mastermind behind the cult series "Gilmore Girls".
I loved that show for several reasons. The first was that it was very female-centric. In addition to this, past the fast-paced dialogue and the quick wit, it was also very real and relatable. My mother and I would sit down every Tuesday night like clockwork to take in the mishaps of Stars Hallow citizens and laugh at their antics. Then there was another thing. Though each of these women had a central character flaw (Emily was controlling, Sookie was ditzy and Loralai was crazy) they all had one thing in common. These were smart women, capable of their own lives.
This is where "Jezebel James" differed. Though the culture references and the quick dialogue was in place, something was missing. The two sisters, and all the female supporting characters, seemed that they should have been smart. There was everything in place for it. But somehow I found myself wondering how the two managed to match the right shoe to the right foot. They seemed to be lacking so much in common sense that it lacked the realness of "Gilmore." I was almost happy with the knowledge that the series did finish after nine episodes, because I knew there would be an end in sight.
Any Gilmore fans out there who have seen this short lived series?